Lord Verbal sat with me at my work station to read the latest post on my blog. For those who don't know Lord Verbal, he sometimes leaves comments on my blog. He is hmmm...well....very direct. If you go back and check a couple of comments left by him on some of my earlier posts, you'll know what I mean. I disappoint him. He says he expects better from me. He knows me quite well is why he so liberally tells me to let my true self reflect in my writings. I, at least around him, vocalize my thoughts. Even the ones which are not so pleasant. I coolly sit down with him over a cup of coffee, play all high and mighty and shred some dimwits to pieces. He loves my 'caustic' tongue. Sometimes I am mean and biting just to please him. I like his reactions to my outrageous observations. I pretend...not just around him, but around others too sometimes. Lengthy discussions about nothing in particular, senseless jokes which aren't even funny, maligning unknown people walking past...unaware of the insulting remarks being cast...
How trite and trivial can i be...how corny can the others be...and I gladly interact with them too... All of us are superficial...
We are surrounded with people who want appreciation, they are nice to you till you look at them with adoring eyes and give them pretty smiles. Likes of Lord verbal are few...he welcomes criticism, of any kind. Try dispensing a bit of professional advise to those who sabotage the system and see how they injure your reputation. Forgotten are the moments of amiability and camaraderie. In the face of little constructive feedback they take an instant aversion to you. The worst is when you have a 'People Management' role. The money could be good, the position could be enviable, the visiting cards that get printed in your name could be impressive...but it stands to reason why would your organization give you this feel good factor? If you are one of those utterly responsible and dedicated employees is when they also laden you with the 'albatross'. Wait till they put you in a difficult situation, such as, providing feedback to your subordinates... in a non offensive manner of course! What manner is that I wonder. You can be bum chums with your team but the day you take them aside and 'politely and blamelessly' discuss the 'concerns', they blow their top. They snivel and sob, whimper and wail, lament and howl...and of course shred you to pieces behind your back. They ruin your reputation..which in no time starts to precede you. You realize how there is deathly silence when you enter a room full of people. You notice how others have started retreating from you cause they are just vary of you because of your profile. you are no more the lad or the babe around the block who they could tease and needle, crack up and die laughing with... Things change...people change...interactions with these people take a sudden turn...
You are not the same anymore...you want to run for that Mr. or Ms. Popularity contest after all, you want to win them over again, you want them to welcome you warmly into their group again, you want to share a meal with them in the cafeteria again, you want to take smoke breaks with them again....you fear being abandoned in your ivory tower suddenly... the thought leaves you nauseated...you want to run and hide...you don't want to face them anymore...you voice you discomfort to those who are not judging you...you vent...
You sleep over the discomforting thought...you wake up...you sit up in bed thinking...you mull over it while brushing...you stress a bit more over it while relieving yourself...you reach the conclusion that it doesn't matter... they don't matter... you carry on...you are carefree again...you think to yourself, "f*** it"... there are those who know you and then there are those who don't...
February 27, 2007
February 21, 2007
Confessions of a dangerous mind
Who is without sin? Who doesn’t suffer from guilt? Who hasn’t experienced pain induced by self or others? Who hasn’t sat crouched on the bathroom tile or marble floor of the bedroom, rocking his/ her body back and forth and cried for hours? Who hasn’t looked at the mirror and turned away for it was hard to meet the cold, callous or incriminating eyes staring back? Who hasn’t refused to meet their parent’s eyes in the formative years? Who hasn’t called someone in the middle of the night and hung up for the fear of getting discovered? Who hasn’t abused the one who had tendered the agony? Who hasn’t been insecure enough to wonder what went wrong in a relationship and if it was because of something they did? Who hasn’t retracted from people who are intimidating? Who hasn’t violated someone else’s privacy at some point in time? Who hasn’t fancied something that belonged to someone else? Who hasn’t cheated on one’s partner at least once, even if it were only in one’s thoughts? Who hasn’t criticized someone behind his/her back? Who hasn’t lost his temper enough to give someone a scare? Who hasn’t been impatient with someone and then hurt him/her too?
People have always been amoral, shiftless, and self-gratifying beings. Most of them are self-proclaimed virtuous and chaste beings. They live in constant denial. They are the ones who discriminate, expose and finally denounce the ‘sinners’. These self-righteous beings are the real sinners. They commit all the 7 deadly sins...
An excessive belief in one’s own abilities...Vanity. Don’t the self righteous beings have an inflated sense of self-worth?
The desire to gratify one's carnal needs... but restraining or sometimes giving in to the desires... but in shadows. The fear of the truth being discovered. Envying others their freedom. Begrudging those who express their desires freely. The craving to be as bold as the self acclaimed sinners...The restrained lot is furious with the indulgent. They blaze in their own frustration. Their wrath emerges and looms like a dark cloud over the bold and the unrestrained.
The lazy and shiftless... neither aspire nor work hard to achieve their goals, nor do they want others to do anything progressive. These ‘envious’ beings are like crabs in a pit. They tug at anyone who even remotely seems to have the drive and the chance to mount...They preach sacrifice. It stands to reason that if one sacrifices it would be someone else’s gain. And who else is there to gather those sacrificial offerings but them? They are propagating the masters and slaves society. And they no doubt intend to be the masters. They try to make one feel guilty for enjoying the fruit of his/her success. They covet the same...
They desire to consume all that they can’t have. They want even what’s on other’s proverbial plate. If that’s not gluttony then what is?
Their inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body stem from their abstaining from the same...Is indulging really more sinful or the constant craving and near obsession of it? Doesn’t that encompass all the other six sins too? The mental overdose of everything that’s denied to self and the false pride that wouldn’t let them admit to their fault is sinful. And what or rather who is this renunciation for? What are they trying to prove?
Sacrifice is synonymous to escapism. All the so called Prophets we hear of, the one's who abdicate the physical comforts and go in search of 'self' and 'the meaning of life' are the true escapists and how will they ever find the meaning of life when they actually run from it? They don't live it...they would never know it
I breathe, I ache, I feel, I love, I hate, I laugh, I cry, I play, I Live...
And while I do it, I also deal with my own set of insecurities, my fear of losing things and people which were never mine...
People have always been amoral, shiftless, and self-gratifying beings. Most of them are self-proclaimed virtuous and chaste beings. They live in constant denial. They are the ones who discriminate, expose and finally denounce the ‘sinners’. These self-righteous beings are the real sinners. They commit all the 7 deadly sins...
An excessive belief in one’s own abilities...Vanity. Don’t the self righteous beings have an inflated sense of self-worth?
The desire to gratify one's carnal needs... but restraining or sometimes giving in to the desires... but in shadows. The fear of the truth being discovered. Envying others their freedom. Begrudging those who express their desires freely. The craving to be as bold as the self acclaimed sinners...The restrained lot is furious with the indulgent. They blaze in their own frustration. Their wrath emerges and looms like a dark cloud over the bold and the unrestrained.
The lazy and shiftless... neither aspire nor work hard to achieve their goals, nor do they want others to do anything progressive. These ‘envious’ beings are like crabs in a pit. They tug at anyone who even remotely seems to have the drive and the chance to mount...They preach sacrifice. It stands to reason that if one sacrifices it would be someone else’s gain. And who else is there to gather those sacrificial offerings but them? They are propagating the masters and slaves society. And they no doubt intend to be the masters. They try to make one feel guilty for enjoying the fruit of his/her success. They covet the same...
They desire to consume all that they can’t have. They want even what’s on other’s proverbial plate. If that’s not gluttony then what is?
Their inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body stem from their abstaining from the same...Is indulging really more sinful or the constant craving and near obsession of it? Doesn’t that encompass all the other six sins too? The mental overdose of everything that’s denied to self and the false pride that wouldn’t let them admit to their fault is sinful. And what or rather who is this renunciation for? What are they trying to prove?
Sacrifice is synonymous to escapism. All the so called Prophets we hear of, the one's who abdicate the physical comforts and go in search of 'self' and 'the meaning of life' are the true escapists and how will they ever find the meaning of life when they actually run from it? They don't live it...they would never know it
I breathe, I ache, I feel, I love, I hate, I laugh, I cry, I play, I Live...
And while I do it, I also deal with my own set of insecurities, my fear of losing things and people which were never mine...
February 12, 2007
"I do"
Weddings!
I find them so intriguing. I also consider myself quite capable of commenting on them. I am rather experienced in that department. It's not because I have been married more than once (God forbid!). No Sir. I have just attended over a hundred weddings till date. Half of them I chose to attend, the other half I was forced to. Lets not get into who forced me and why. Lets just stick to my observations and derivations of such ludicrous events.
In a typical Indian wedding you will broadly notice the following things: the venue swarming with over bearing elderly women dressed in heavy silks and laden with jewellery, men folk busy discussing politics or the job opportunities in the market, pretty young things dressed in bright colored Georgette's and chiffon's, the young men shifting on their feet looking uncomfortable in the suits they have been forced to wear, the screaming children running free and unattended, tables and china overflowing with oily food.
When you start observing more closely you will realize that the over excited and hyper womenfolk are freely dispensing their unwanted advice. These women are usually the elderly relatives of the bride/ groom's parents who are of the belief that without their expert opinion the wedding would not fall through and the couple would not be able to get together in holy matrimony. And even if they manage to get married barring a few old customs, they would have severe problems in their relationship post marriage. I don't know how far its true, but I sure have seen the new age, open minded bride/ groom trying really hard to get out of some over hyped customs, however with little success. These over bearing maternal and paternal aunts have furrowed brows and clenched teeth. They are most often than not trying to gain one up over the other aunts present at the scene. Do you notice the frequent use of the word 'over'? That's intentional. It's to indicate the excessive body weight as well as the weight of their arguments and aggressive behaviour. They would beat any man hands down in 'forcefulness' at times like these, where their seniority and their say in the matters is at stake. The Men, unlike the women, take a back seat and seem totally disinterested in the wedding preparations and proceedings. All that you would see them do is; pretending to be deep in intelligent conversation, drinking like fish and eating like hogs. They carry an air of boredom as they ferry their pot bellies across the lawns. They look like they wish they were somewhere else, in all probability work or watching the latest football or cricket match on TV (depending on the season of course!). They congratulate the parents of the bride/ groom in a grave tone, which sounds more consoling than congratulatory. I suspect that at a deeper level they empathize with the father-in-law-to-be for bearing the heavy expenses of the wedding. But still, it does not deter them from consuming the expensive and coveted alcohol!
The pretty young things on the other hand (especially the ones who are scarcely clad and showing off their nubile bodies in see through dresses) seem elated about just being there. They would laugh at the slightest provocation and that too with a trill~ a laughter that excites mind you. Its practiced dear! You don't have to be a psychologist to know why they do it in that peculiar fashion. When they throw their head back, the hair tease their pretty cheeks and get in their big eyes ( made up with thick mascara and eyeshadow). They gently tuck the straying misbehaving strand of hair behind their small ears with tinker bell earrings. You will catch them eyeing the young men, the eligible bachelors and also the fit looking married men, even though they are strictly off limits. But then do they care? It's a number game my love. They score every time a man passes them by and flits an appreciative glance over them from head to toe. Imagine the Axe Click Deo Spray ad reversed. Although, the women don't smirk like Ben Afleck in that ad, they burst into spurts of giggles. They get together in a group, cracking girlie jokes amongst themselves and catching the men's attention with little effort. Like a close friend remarked a few days ago in exasperation; " Women play games...cat and mouse games" and I inquired, "when have you seen them play these games?", spat came the reply, "sweets, the question should have been what games? and not when do they play such games. It stands to reason that you have been one of them once, even if you don't fall into that category anymore." We exchanged a knowing smile. I couldn't disagree. Do you get the drift? ;) The poor young men in pretty pants don't stand a chance around these nymphomaniacs. Even though they would act nonchalant and totally disinterested, still their coy glances give them away. They are driven to heights of excitement and they end up fantasising and hyper ventilating. God save their souls. Some fall into the web so thick that looks lead to conversations lead to relationships which eventually blossom and lead these men and women into the vicious circle of tying the knot. And so the story goes dida di....
We, the people, the attendees of these do's stand and marvel at the smooth way the cycle of life long commitments draw some people so close for eternity and pull some apart forever.
I find them so intriguing. I also consider myself quite capable of commenting on them. I am rather experienced in that department. It's not because I have been married more than once (God forbid!). No Sir. I have just attended over a hundred weddings till date. Half of them I chose to attend, the other half I was forced to. Lets not get into who forced me and why. Lets just stick to my observations and derivations of such ludicrous events.
In a typical Indian wedding you will broadly notice the following things: the venue swarming with over bearing elderly women dressed in heavy silks and laden with jewellery, men folk busy discussing politics or the job opportunities in the market, pretty young things dressed in bright colored Georgette's and chiffon's, the young men shifting on their feet looking uncomfortable in the suits they have been forced to wear, the screaming children running free and unattended, tables and china overflowing with oily food.
When you start observing more closely you will realize that the over excited and hyper womenfolk are freely dispensing their unwanted advice. These women are usually the elderly relatives of the bride/ groom's parents who are of the belief that without their expert opinion the wedding would not fall through and the couple would not be able to get together in holy matrimony. And even if they manage to get married barring a few old customs, they would have severe problems in their relationship post marriage. I don't know how far its true, but I sure have seen the new age, open minded bride/ groom trying really hard to get out of some over hyped customs, however with little success. These over bearing maternal and paternal aunts have furrowed brows and clenched teeth. They are most often than not trying to gain one up over the other aunts present at the scene. Do you notice the frequent use of the word 'over'? That's intentional. It's to indicate the excessive body weight as well as the weight of their arguments and aggressive behaviour. They would beat any man hands down in 'forcefulness' at times like these, where their seniority and their say in the matters is at stake. The Men, unlike the women, take a back seat and seem totally disinterested in the wedding preparations and proceedings. All that you would see them do is; pretending to be deep in intelligent conversation, drinking like fish and eating like hogs. They carry an air of boredom as they ferry their pot bellies across the lawns. They look like they wish they were somewhere else, in all probability work or watching the latest football or cricket match on TV (depending on the season of course!). They congratulate the parents of the bride/ groom in a grave tone, which sounds more consoling than congratulatory. I suspect that at a deeper level they empathize with the father-in-law-to-be for bearing the heavy expenses of the wedding. But still, it does not deter them from consuming the expensive and coveted alcohol!
The pretty young things on the other hand (especially the ones who are scarcely clad and showing off their nubile bodies in see through dresses) seem elated about just being there. They would laugh at the slightest provocation and that too with a trill~ a laughter that excites mind you. Its practiced dear! You don't have to be a psychologist to know why they do it in that peculiar fashion. When they throw their head back, the hair tease their pretty cheeks and get in their big eyes ( made up with thick mascara and eyeshadow). They gently tuck the straying misbehaving strand of hair behind their small ears with tinker bell earrings. You will catch them eyeing the young men, the eligible bachelors and also the fit looking married men, even though they are strictly off limits. But then do they care? It's a number game my love. They score every time a man passes them by and flits an appreciative glance over them from head to toe. Imagine the Axe Click Deo Spray ad reversed. Although, the women don't smirk like Ben Afleck in that ad, they burst into spurts of giggles. They get together in a group, cracking girlie jokes amongst themselves and catching the men's attention with little effort. Like a close friend remarked a few days ago in exasperation; " Women play games...cat and mouse games" and I inquired, "when have you seen them play these games?", spat came the reply, "sweets, the question should have been what games? and not when do they play such games. It stands to reason that you have been one of them once, even if you don't fall into that category anymore." We exchanged a knowing smile. I couldn't disagree. Do you get the drift? ;) The poor young men in pretty pants don't stand a chance around these nymphomaniacs. Even though they would act nonchalant and totally disinterested, still their coy glances give them away. They are driven to heights of excitement and they end up fantasising and hyper ventilating. God save their souls. Some fall into the web so thick that looks lead to conversations lead to relationships which eventually blossom and lead these men and women into the vicious circle of tying the knot. And so the story goes dida di....
We, the people, the attendees of these do's stand and marvel at the smooth way the cycle of life long commitments draw some people so close for eternity and pull some apart forever.
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