As An Afterthought...

Lord Verbal sat with me at my work station to read the latest post on my blog. For those who don't know Lord Verbal, he sometimes leaves comments on my blog. He is hmmm...well....very direct. If you go back and check a couple of comments left by him on some of my earlier posts, you'll know what I mean. I disappoint him. He says he expects better from me. He knows me quite well is why he so liberally tells me to let my true self reflect in my writings. I, at least around him, vocalize my thoughts. Even the ones which are not so pleasant. I coolly sit down with him over a cup of coffee, play all high and mighty and shred some dimwits to pieces. He loves my 'caustic' tongue. Sometimes I am mean and biting just to please him. I like his reactions to my outrageous observations. I pretend...not just around him, but around others too sometimes. Lengthy discussions about nothing in particular, senseless jokes which aren't even funny, maligning unknown people walking past...unaware of the insulting remarks being cast...

How trite and trivial can i be...how corny can the others be...and I gladly interact with them too... All of us are superficial...

We are surrounded with people who want appreciation, they are nice to you till you look at them with adoring eyes and give them pretty smiles. Likes of Lord verbal are few...he welcomes criticism, of any kind. Try dispensing a bit of professional advise to those who sabotage the system and see how they injure your reputation. Forgotten are the moments of amiability and camaraderie. In the face of little constructive feedback they take an instant aversion to you. The worst is when you have a 'People Management' role. The money could be good, the position could be enviable, the visiting cards that get printed in your name could be impressive...but it stands to reason why would your organization give you this feel good factor? If you are one of those utterly responsible and dedicated employees is when they also laden you with the 'albatross'. Wait till they put you in a difficult situation, such as, providing feedback to your subordinates... in a non offensive manner of course! What manner is that I wonder. You can be bum chums with your team but the day you take them aside and 'politely and blamelessly' discuss the 'concerns', they blow their top. They snivel and sob, whimper and wail, lament and howl...and of course shred you to pieces behind your back. They ruin your reputation..which in no time starts to precede you. You realize how there is deathly silence when you enter a room full of people. You notice how others have started retreating from you cause they are just vary of you because of your profile. you are no more the lad or the babe around the block who they could tease and needle, crack up and die laughing with... Things change...people change...interactions with these people take a sudden turn...

You are not the same anymore...you want to run for that Mr. or Ms. Popularity contest after all, you want to win them over again, you want them to welcome you warmly into their group again, you want to share a meal with them in the cafeteria again, you want to take smoke breaks with them again....you fear being abandoned in your ivory tower suddenly... the thought leaves you nauseated...you want to run and hide...you don't want to face them anymore...you voice you discomfort to those who are not judging you...you vent...

You sleep over the discomforting thought...you wake up...you sit up in bed thinking...you mull over it while brushing...you stress a bit more over it while relieving yourself...you reach the conclusion that it doesn't matter... they don't matter... you carry on...you are carefree again...you think to yourself, "f*** it"... there are those who know you and then there are those who don't...